nothing good

It was four years ago today that my sweetest family member died. His name was Cassidy, and that’s a picture of him, giving me unconditional love. This isn’t the place to re-live it, but his death was monstrous and world changing.

The Australian songwriter Nick Cave lost his 15-year-old son a few years ago, and he speaks with precision about grief.

“Look, not to go on about this, but the whole grief thing, there’s nothing good about it whatsoever. People will tell you other things, but it’s like a fucking disease. A contagion that not only affects you, but everybody around you. And it’s cunning. And you can feel good and you can be getting on with things, and then it just comes up and sort of punches you in the back of the head and you’re down and you’re out for the count for a while. I don’t just mean psychologically, I mean physically too. Grief and illness and tiredness feed off each other in a kind of feeding frenzy.”

If you’ve lost someone too, please take good care of yourself.